Things you should and shouldn’t do when you get caught cheating on your partner!
Innocent friendships that dangerously fulfill unmet needs can become pitfalls for needy spouses. Men and women have an innate and desperate need for the emotion of love in a marriage. Although capable of not being dominated by it, a marriage, without good feelings, is incomplete and many couples will go to great lengths just to find it, even in places where it shouldn’t be enjoyed.
Unfortunately, the waters of infidelity have never been known to bring its victims to the shores of happy endings. Infidelity threatens the foundation of marriage and leaves emotional scars on its victims, willing or otherwise. It is the main reason many couples divorce.
So when you get caught with your pants down, you’re right on the money that things are really going to get ugly after that.
What NOT to do
Carry on with your lover.
If you want to save your marriage, breaking off the affair should be your first course of action. This will produce the following effect: It sends a message that you are sorry for breaking your vows and are serious in saving your marriage. You also give your marriage a chance to be repaired. Breaking off the affair means no contact, text, phone calls or e-mails.
Carrying on with your lover will prevent efforts towards rebuilding as your wife will see your efforts as inadequate. It also implies that you are no longer interested in making your marriage work.
Although keeping a spare tire makes complete sense, just in case your main tire doesn’t function, this is not the case with marriage. Both of you are irreplaceable for the time being that you are bound by your vows.
Exclusivity is the defining character of a marriage, anything contrary to that weakens the tie that binds you to one another.
Offering excuses justifying your indiscretion
True reconciliation is impossible if you don’t own up to your mistakes. Rebuilding a marriage requires accepting full responsibility and this means being sincerely sorry that you screwed up.
There is nothing sorrier than having to keep offering excuses for your shortcomings. No excuse can ever justify a betrayal of trust and it is an indirect way of blaming your partner for your shortcomings. There may have been factors that encouraged the infidelity, but these factors did not compel you to cheat. You cheated of your own free will and by doing so you broke the very foundation of your marriage: you violated your wife’s trust.
Unfortunately, trying to weasel out of responsibility cannot regain your partner’s trust as it can only be regained through sincere and consistent actions. Finding an excuse to surf the best websites to cheat is an immature way of dealing with your issues. Grow up!
Continue to be an ass.
There is nothing more painful than having invested your best in a relationship with someone who does not know how to cherish and value what’s important.
Despite the high that the affair may have produced, most of the time this kind of addiction won’t survive the weight of discovery. The affair may however show the cracks and strains of the marriage.
Illicit affairs contain an element of excitement. The thrill of the secret and dangers can bring about a combustible mix that does not benefit your marriage in any way. Your betrayal, will make you feel miserable and put more strain on your already fragile relationship.
To successfully rebuild your marriage you need to give it your all. Compulsive cheating despite discovery, will make reconnecting with your spouse difficult, if not already impossible. She may forgive you the first time but subsequent affairs will be another story altogether.
What to do
Are you sorry because you cheated or are you sorry because you got caught?
This is an essential question a cheating spouse must answer. Until he gets to the bottom of what drove him to stray, he cannot understand the lessons of his experience. Understanding the motivation behind the infidelity can help him determine for himself if he wants to go on with his primary relationship or end it.
Typically, marital infidelity is symptomatic of a lack of affection
between the spouses, a sexual addiction; the feeling of sexual entitlement based on status or gender; or as a means of leaving an unhealthy marriage.
But there are times when affairs are not exactly indicative of domestic troubles. On the surface, a couple can appear happy and contented but a spouse can begin an affair due to low self esteem, fear of intimacy or conflict avoidance.
The seeds of deception can sometimes be found in simple acts such as memberships in best websites to cheat. There are some free sites and some paid sites, where you can register for a membership. There are various cheating websites to choose from, some are mentioned here: http://cheater-dating-guide.com/dating-site-reviews/. The married cheating sites which are not free and have a paid membership, have more chances of producing good results. But make sure that you don’t fall for a scam site. Read the reviews to judge the authenticity of a site. You should know that this kind of activity is tainted with an unexpressed desire for connection that eventually blossoms into a full blown affair. Stress or lifestyle changes can provide the environment for the weed of infidelity to grow and eventually the lure becomes almost irresistible.
Whatever may be your reason, find out and deal with it so you can address your problems effectively.
Take responsibility for your actions, bite the bullet.
After identifying what has led you to stray, taking responsibility is the mature thing to do. When your wife caught you cheating, you just sent her self esteem into a nose dive and she may start questioning her worth as a person. Trust, the cornerstone of your relationship, has been broken and do not be surprised if your wife won’t take your word every time you say it was just that one time.
Understand that she is going through the process of grieving and rebuilding. She will feel a roller coaster of emotions and may potentially become emotionally unstable. Who can blame her after what you just did?
Most of the time, cheating is done with no thought or consideration for the other person. Unfortunately, such irresponsible behavior carries with it far reaching consequences albeit with the devastating effects that can take a long time to recover. In order to successfully rebuild your marriage, you have to deal with it head on
Saying you’re sorry and meaning it can do a lot more than countless hours of explaining and defending your indiscretion. Playing the blame game only makes matters worse. If you feel that you have issues regarding your marriage, limit your exposure to temptation and avoid the < best websites to cheat.
If after the infidelity, both spouses have agreed to move forward in rebuilding a new connection, undergoing therapy can help get them get back on track.
In therapy, the couple’s decision will always be respected and the therapist can help them remain together. During this time, each partner will be given the opportunity to express their feelings in a safe environment that can guide them through the process of healing and forgiveness. Both can also help each other express their new level of commitment to the relationship; teach each other how to regain lost trust; and foresee possible pitfalls in the future.
Therapy can help the partners see the true nature of their relationship and encourage them to be open and honest in evaluating the strength of their relationship. Despite its potential benefits, therapy may not always save a marriage. When there is too much anger and bitterness that cannot be overcome, both parties may still call it quits.
Many people perceive infidelity by their partner as a personal failure. Therapy can help them work through those feelings and make sense of the experience in order to obtain a new perspective.
Two for the Road, moving on or letting go?
It’s not the number of conquests that determine a man’s character, but his capacity to make mature and responsible decisions to build and protect those who trust in his capacity as head of the family.
In a committed relationship, infidelity is a breach that recognizes no exception. It can make or break a relationship. How the cheater handles himself after the event will largely determine if he can still keep what he was so willing to gamble away.
A breach in the ramparts does not necessarily have to be a gaping hole, and the damage hopeless. Nevertheless, if he wants to keep what it encloses, he will have to prove that he is worthy of being its owner by sincere and constant vigilance.